Rising from the Ashes

I became obsessed with the Phoenix in July 2013 during a meditation.   I saw an image of the mythical bird that consumes itself in flames to be reborn from its ashes and received a message that fire can be as cleansing as water.  By jumping into the fire we can actually land in the water. This intrigued me, but I also realized that it represented the core of the phoenix myth.  Hesitating to let go for fear of the pain letting go involves keeps us bound to the past.  

I think that the phoenix has always been a part of me because it is also the third and most evolved symbol for the sign of Scorpio.  I am a bona fide Scorpio, with my Sun, Saturn, Mercury, Venus and Saturn, along with the asteroids Ceres, Pallas, and Lilith (also known as the Dark Moon).  I have often remarked that Scorpio is born to be reborn; no other sign has the strength to endure such tremendous loss, survive and regenerate itself.  Scorpio is the comeback kid of the zodiac.  Scorpio instinctively knows that something old must be destroyed and transformed to make room for the new.  But making that sacrifice and letting go is particularly challenging for the fixed sign of Scorpio. The phoenix must literally destroy its nest and sense of security in order for that transformation to occur.  In its most enlightened form, the phoenix symbolizes the ultimate act of creative destruction, sacrifice and rebirth within the realm of mind and spirit.

But what is the dance of the phoenix?  Essentially it is a dance between the ego and creativity that is navigated from the heart. The masculine ego sets a clear intention and surrenders to the process of female creativity. The ego must be transformed to nurture creatively by letting go of attachments to the past that no longer serve a purpose.  I have read that people in their late 50’s and early 60’s approaching the traditional age of retirement are prime candidates for the dance of the phoenix because they are prone to feel that they have missed something in life or that there is more to be experienced.  It is an optimal time for rebirth and the freeing of one’s creative spirit. This is certainly my reality.  I am approaching my 59^th birthday and undergoing my second Saturn Return.  On many levels, I feel that I am entering the most creative period of my life.  I began my study of astrology during my first Saturn Return and it has evolved into a passion that has proved to be an incredible tool for insight into my life and those of my clients over the years.  In order to honor that passion, I have taken a huge leap of faith by resigning from my full-time administrative job that I held for 17 years and using a portion of my retirement money to live on while I launch my new career as a full-time astrologer.

                 

I have also come to realize that the journey of the phoenix takes time and that transformation is grown, not forced.  That is the most difficult thing for me to wrap my head around because I am extremely impatient by nature and these days my growing pains are pretty intense.

But what really triggered my dance of the phoenix?  In all honesty, I would have to say that the Boston Marathon Bombing on April 15, 2013 held my dance card. It was the event that changed my life and rocked my world.  On that day, I had taken the train to the coastal town of Rockport to escape the crowds gathered in the city for the marathon.  It was a new tradition that a friend and I had started last year.  We had a leisurely lunch overlooking the water and did some shopping.  We arrived back in Boston in North Station a little after 5:00 p.m.  and heard an announcement that the Green Line was not running and to take the Orange Line to Back Bay Station.  We emerged from Back Bay Station around 5:30 p.m. and instantly knew that something was very wrong.  My friend said that I commented “this is not just the Marathon.”  We had no idea what had happened and tried to walk towards Boylston Street in an effort to walk home to Brookline.  That is when I heard, “No, you can’t go down Boylston Street.  It’s a crime zone and the FBI is on its way.”  Streets were blocked off and we were constantly told where not to walk.  It was several minutes before we learned that a couple of bombs had gone off at the marathon shortly before 3:00 p.m.    I remember asking someone if there were any fatalities and a man told me that two people were dead and about 20 injured.   As we all know, it was much worse than that.  We were shepherded through back streets up to the Boston Common and eventually made it to Beacon Street so that we could walk home to Brookline. I know now that I was in shock; it looked like a war zone to me with all of the streets blocked off and the constant warnings that there could be more bombs going off.  At one point I got a text from a friend inquiring if I was all right, and I texted back that I was right in the middle of it and would get back to her when I got home.   

When I did make it home, I turned on the TV and was glued to the set for a couple of hours until another friend sagely advised me to turn off the doom box.  Then it hit me—I was incredibly fortunate to be alive and not to have witnessed any of the carnage.  If I had returned to Boston two hours earlier, I might not have been so lucky.  I remember writing in my journal that night that April 15, 2013 would change my life forever.  And it did.  I started thinking that if life could be snatched away from you so quickly, why waste it?  I had been unhappy in my job for some time with its escalating demands and the accompanying stress had taken a toll on my health.  I believe that night I decided to find a way to spend whatever time I had left doing what was important to me.  And that was my astrology work.  I felt like I was done with the enabling phase of my life and I wanted to shift into the empowering phase of my life.  Astrology was my vehicle for empowerment. 

A few days later I summoned the courage to look at the astrology chart for the Boston Marathon Bombing.  The chart for 2:50 p.m. on April 15^th had the Sun and Mars conjunct in Aries, the sign of war ruled by Mars, in the 8^th house of death, rebirth and transformation.  Mercury and Uranus were also conjunct in Aries in the 8^th house.   What a theme for sudden violence, death and shocking news that rocked the world!  

Then I looked at how that chart impacted my own natal chart.  Mars in 25 degrees of Aries opposed my natal Neptune in 26 degrees of Libra in my 1^st house, providing a catalyst for my own spiritual transformation.  Yes, I was profoundly affected by the tragic events of that day and felt like I was reverting to my psychic sponge persona in terms of feeling everyone’s pain, but in addition to the Boston Strong theme that became the mantra for the city, I realized that it was high time for Linda to be strong.  Other aspects of the April 15^t’s chart significantly impacted my chart.  The north node of the moon was in 18 degrees of Scorpio that day conjunct my Sun in 19 degrees of Scorpio in my second house; my values and the way I earned a living had to change.  The north node represents our soul’s mission in life and to have it transiting your Sun on a day of death and rebirth lights a fire under your butt to fulfill your soul’s mission.  And in the sign of Scorpio, how much more phoenix can you get?  I had literally walked through the ashes, so the next logical step was the rebirth.  Transiting Saturn in 9 degrees of Scorpio was also conjunct my natal Saturn in 12 degrees of Scorpio, so this was no ordinary Saturn Return.  Saturn was clearing the decks of what no longer served my highest good in my life.  Sometimes Saturn can be a little rough in getting its point across.  But I think what really saved me on that day was transiting Jupiter in 14 degrees of Gemini exactly conjunct my natal moon in the 8^th house, heralding my own personal rebirth.  It protected me and gave me the inspiration and courage to think about planning a more positive, meaningful future for myself.  Jupiter and the moon were in the 10^th house for the April 15^th chart, so it was no accident that the tragedy in Boston brought out the best in people around the world, just as it was no accident that I was in Copley Square that day.