Chiron in Pisces Direct - Let the Healing Begin

Chiron resumed a stationary direct position in 9 degrees of Pisces on November 19^th at 5:06 a.m.   Chiron has been retrograde since June 18^th when it stationed at 13 degrees of Pisces. This follows last week’s direct movement of Neptune in Pisces.  Chiron is known as the Wounded Healer and Pisces symbolizes compassion and victim. So with both Neptune and Chiron in the water sign of Pisces, a lot of emotion is swirling around.  The Chiron in Pisces direct station is all about addressing issues around boundaries, codependency, addiction, denial and victimization. In other words, this is my neighborhood, the issues that describe where I live. That is not exactly lightweight stuff. Ouch!  Old wounds and pain comes up to be addressed for deep healing.  But nobody ever said that healing is easy or necessarily fun because it involves facing pain that precedes a great transformation, unresolvable situations and a clash between fantasy and reality.  It requires a closer look at emotional hang-ups caused by psychological scars of the past.

I also started thinking about the last time that Chiron was in Pisces: 1962-1968. I was a child then and I can remember my mother saying that she felt sorry for my generation to be enduring the memory of assassinations of political leaders because she had grown up in the Depression when the president of her childhood and early adulthood was FDR and the country seemed to be united for the sake of a cause: first the Depression, then World War II.  The 1960’s were all about change and rebelling against the establishment. Those were some pretty heavy duty times and there was also some intense Uranus/Pluto action going down back then: the Uranus/Pluto conjunction in Virgo.  We are commemorating the 50^th anniversary of a slain president.  Now we have the Uranus/Pluto square in Aries and Capricorn.  This is definitely food for thought about changing times.  For people born in then 1960’s, they are experiencing their Chiron Return and embarking on their own personal healing process.

I started googling Chiron and found my way to a fabulous site that nailed my experience of the Chiron station.  It is:

www.evolvingdoor.ca/lowdown/current/lowdowncurrent.htm

Basically, it feels like you are caught between two worlds.  Chiron’s retrograde position for the past five months has provided us with an opportunity to reassess the places in our lives that need healing, but also to discover how we are wounding ourselves or others.  This is where the compassion piece comes in.  Decisions or turning points about issues concerning goals, health problems, expectations and authority can be made and implemented within the next three months.  Ambiguity exists and there can be a feeling of being in a whirlpool mixing up possibilities with limitations.  Essentially, you can feel like you are caught between the world of what is and what might be.

I thought I would be used to that Pisces energy now, but I am not.  I have to confess that early in the week I felt tired, anxious, and overwhelmed.  Insomnia was becoming a more constant companion.  About three hours before Chiron made its direct station, I woke up crying without knowing why.  I couldn’t get back to sleep for awhile, but a little voice told me to check out my Chiron transits.  I scribbled something on a notepad about checking on my Chiron transits and eventually got back to sleep.  I have learned to pay attention to that little voice.  Intuition has become my BFF.  After my morning coffee I checked my chart and bingo—I had transiting Chiron in my 5^th house of creativity squaring my moon in the 8^th house.  Traditionally this transit is interpreted as an emotionally difficult time which forces one to review a painful memory or event in order to heal the past and move forward.  Self-care, an issue that I have learned the hard way, and compassion toward others are crucial during this transit.  It is also said that dreams can hold the key to our problems during this transit.  I have been having a lot of dreams about my former job and the issues that caused me to leave.  I literally left that job to heal. 

I also discovered that transiting Chiron was trining my natal Saturn.  And I have been experiencing my second Saturn Return.  Chiron trining Saturn provides opportunity for healing and issues around authority.  True to Saturn’s nature, you still need to put in the hours and the effort, but the trine indicates that opportunities will arise. During the past week I received the opportunity to advertise my services free for a year in a New Age publication. The payoff of this transit is that you can overcome fears which have previously stood in your way and make choices.  My natal Chiron is in Capricorn, which denotes that my wound is fear and the best way to heal that wound is by demonstrating courage.  And I have Chiron in the 4^th house, which also indicates that a big part of my wound is not feeling heard or validated.

I also consulted one of my bibles on Chiron, the book Chiron Healing Body and Soul by Martin Lass. In the front of the book he made a very profound statement that I have found very insightful over the years: “The gift is in the wound.”  He also said that the second retrograde pass of Chiron went even deeper, potentially exacerbating the wounds and issues of the first pass so that by the third pass the door can be opened for deeper healing and a final resolution of the issues.

On the evening of the 20^th I went to my weekly meditation group, hoping for additional insight into these transits.  I look forward to this group every week because I experience such a high and deeper meditative state in a group than I do when meditating alone.  The music was very different at this session and afterwards the leader asked people to share their experiences.  I commented that I found the music slightly annoying at first but adjusted to it and said that at one point I literally felt like I was leaving my body and started shaking.  The general consensus was that the music was a bit jarring and one woman described it as reminding her of nails on a chalkboard.  Then the leader calmly stated that the music was like life—not always a smooth ride, sometimes filled with bumps, discomfort and turbulence that force us to leave behind the feeling of being a victim.  I piped up that it was a perfect description of the Chiron station that had occurred the previous day. What an a-ha moment!

The astrologer Michael Lutin never fails to amaze and enlighten me with his insight on his website: 

www.michaellutin.com

He brilliantly observed that with Chiron direct we are likely to notice that some people are like severely wounded animals whose wounds cannot be healed in this incarnation and that the best course of action is to show compassion, let them continue on their path, but keep your distance.  This resonated deeply for me because I know several people in my life who are truly like wounded animals.  And we all know that wounded animals will lash out and attack when in pain; they can’t help it. His website has a picture illustrating this.

And now we embark on the holiday season and I sense that these themes will be playing out big-time for me in my personal and professional life.  I do know one thing to be true—I am more than ready to renounce the victim role, so this should be an interesting three months…

Neptune Trining Mercury and Moving Forward

Neptune in Pisces began trining Mercury in Scorpio on November 9, 2013 when both of these retrograde planets were at 3 degrees of their respective signs. Mercury went direct on November 10^th and Neptune went direct on November 13^th, so we had another chance to experience this energy.  Stationary Neptune can cause leaks in your boundaries, though, so there was a flip side to this change in direction. Mercury had only been retrograde since October 21^st, but Neptune had been retrograde in its home sign of Pisces since June 7^th.   I have my natal Mercury in 0 degrees of Scorpio and can personally attest to the full effects of this transit.  I also have my Neptune in 26 degrees of Libra conjunct my Libra ascendant and Mercury and have always considered myself to be very Neptunian.   True to my Neptunian nature, I have always experienced difficulty in setting boundaries, although I have been more mindful of that issue in recent years.

What are the themes of this transit?  Neptune trining Mercury can give us answers without much effort because problems can be solved intuitively and naturally.  It is also an excellent time to connect with what appeals to you.  Neptune, especially in the dreamy sign of Pisces, is also about compassion and with it trining Mercury, it is high time to express that compassion towards others.  Let the healing begin as Neptune moves forward. The themes of surrendering and letting go are strong, but we need to guard against being too lazy.  Feelings of spaciness and confusion are also common with this transit. Neptune is all about the transcendent nature of reality, dreams, delusions, surrender, and redemption.  Neptune also pertains to dissolving our reality, our ego and sense of duty and responsibility.  But Neptune has a way of dissolving psychological boundaries through the vehicles of confusion and ambivalence, thereby allowing us to float beyond our perceived limitations. Sometimes you just can’t see the road ahead or, more frequently, you just see what you want to see, courtesy of Neptune. 

Neptune retrograde allows us to access our feelings through heightened sensitivity.  Dreams can be more vivid and intense, while at the same time creativity may flourish.  The wisest course of action during Neptune retrograde is to listen to that inner voice and heed that heightened sensitivity.  Intuition is stronger than usual during Neptune retrograde. If you get a strong hunch, pay close attention to it or you could have serious regrets when Neptune goes direct.  But Neptune stationary retrograde, which occurred on November 13^th, still tends to have a very surreal, foggy aura.  The fog may not quite have fully lifted even though Neptune is moving forward.

Mercury retrograde in Scorpio afforded us the opportunity to do the research so that we could make our dreams a reality.  I have certainly had ample opportunity to access my dreams, surrender and heal since last June when Neptune went retrograde.  And Mercury retrograde was definitely an opportune time for me to keep investigating ways to make my business grow.

On November 13^th I went to see a dermatologist about the mole I had discovered on my back.  The doctor removed it and another mole on my back.  He said that he would do a biopsy on it and assured me that he would have a good report for me next week.  As an astrologer, I can’t help thinking how this played out the energy of Neptune trining Mercury.   Neptune can also rule mysterious, sudden ailments and with Mercury in Scorpio there would be some research done on that suspicious mole that seemed to just spring up a few weeks ago.

Another way the Neptune trining Mercury transit has played out for me is by learning about more free opportunities to advertise my services.  I could continue spreading the word (Mercury) about my spiritual beliefs and services (Neptune) without having to expend enormous amounts of money.  I couldn’t ask for a better manifestation of that transit's energy.

Mercury Retrograde and the Shadow

Mercury is retrograde in Scorpio.  Retrograde Mercury in Scorpio is deep, penetrating and exposes the dark underbelly.  There is definitely the potential for hitting bottom with this Mercury retrograde in Scorpio.

While Mercury officially went retrograde on October 21^stat 18 degrees of Scorpio, it actually entered what is called a “shadow period” on October 1^st at 2 degrees of Scorpio.  I learned about the shadow period of Mercury retrograde last summer, when Mercury was retrograde in Cancer.   It was relevant for me back then when I was contemplating leaving my job and launching a new career because I have a Cancer midheaven.  It entered the shadow when Mercury was in my 9^th house at 13 degrees of Cancer on June 10th, stationed retrograde in my 10^th house at 23 degrees of Cancer on June 26th, resumed direct motion at 13 degrees of Cancer on July 20^th and left the shadow period on August 4^th.  This date is also known as the “release” date because it signifies that Mercury is finally out of the retrograde. The shadow actually comprised the sensitive degrees that Mercury hits three times.   And if you have a personal planet or point, like your ascendant, descendant, midheaven or nodes of the moon at or near these degrees, this can have a profound influence on your life.  It can be like a journey to your own personal underworld with Mercury retrograde in Scorpio. And the days leading up to that release date can be filled with ah-ha moments.  Mercury will resume stationary direct motion at 2 degrees of Scorpio on November 10^th and will leave the shadow zone on November 27^th at 18 degrees of Scorpio.

How is that impacting me?  Well, for starters, the shadow point of 2 degrees of Scorpio is conjunct my natal Mercury in the 1^st house.  And the stationary retrograde position of 18 degrees of Scorpio is conjunct my sun in the 2^nd house.  When Mercury resumes direct motion at 2 degrees of Scorpio on November 10^th, it will be hitting my Mercury again.  So when I experience the “release” of the Mercury retrograde shadow on November 27^th, it will be conjunct my sun again in the 2^nd house.  The focus has shifted from taking a leap of faith regarding my career during the last Mercury retrograde to establishing a new identity, values and source of income during this Mercury retrograde period.  My sun and Mercury are being hit, and you can’t get more personal than that when your life energy and communication are affected.

Like many other people, I have had the traditional Mercury retrograde experiences in the past couple of weeks.  I have endured computer glitches, missed phone calls, texts, and emails.  A bill that I thought I had paid online was not paid, as I discovered when I received my next statement.  I guess that submit button did not send my payment.  I should have checked my online bank statement sooner, but that bill was paid during the “shadow” period, so I thought I was safe.  I had to return an exercise DVD that I had ordered because it wouldn’t play.  I have also heard from people that I thought I would never hear from again.  Mercury retrograde has a way of bringing people out of the woodwork.

Mercury retrograde is traditionally considered a good time to analyze and clear the decks for attitudes or habits that no longer serve you.  Second chances are a big theme, as well as the concept of being prepared to leave room for changes down the road.  And be open to adjusting, fixing and negotiating.  For Scorpios, Mercury retrograde can represent a period of eliminating emotional blocks to success.  Fear is a big block, no doubt about it.  A big part of that fear can be of loss and endings, which are necessary for the rebirth to occur. Scorpio is the sign of joint finances, so creative approaches to new streams of income are definitely in order.  These issues have increased emphasis courtesy of the presence of north node of the moon and Saturn in Scorpio, in addition to a solar eclipse in Scorpio on November 3^rd.  That eclipse, coupled with Saturn and the node in Scorpio, demanded honesty on every level.  It also conjuncted my natal Saturn, so I am still reeling from the effects of that one.  Frustrations and testing are the theme songs for this very personal transit.

Mercury conjuncted Saturn in Scorpio on October 29^th, as it did on October 8^th.  Thank you, Mercury retrograde for an encore.  The intensity was amped up a notch, demanding that we redirect our focus and set some boundaries as we embark on our new life cycle. There was a distinct theme of approaching delicate issues with this aspect.  And we received two opportunities to do so.  I personally found that week leading up to the eclipse to be way too anxiety ridden for my liking; I was swept up by daily frustrations, communication snafus and a real need to step back and breathe.  The fact that all of this planetary activity was leading up to the Uranus/Pluto square and an eclipse only served to ratch up the fever pitch energy.

I am trying to be mindful of the meaning of the remaining days of Mercury retrograde.  I will definitely be revisiting old ideas and making new plans with room for revisions, something which does not come easily to me.  Scorpio is a fixed sign and does not embrace change easily, yet that seems to be the lesson.  Going with the flow has never been my forte, but I am trying to embrace it.  I know that I am on the receiving end of the full brunt of Mercury retrograde and its shadow period because of my sun and Mercury, so I need to let go and release old preconceived notions of how things should be and be open to new possibilities for a new reality.

Riding the Wave of the Uranus Pluto Square

Surf’s up- it’s time to ride the wave of the 4^th of the 7 Uranus/Pluto squares between 2012 and 2015.  Revolution and transformation are the order of the day. High anxiety is the name of the game and change is scary.  The lack of stability in life and the sense of being in a freefall prevail.  Rumor has it that the 4^th and 5^th Uranus/Pluto squares are going to be the most intense.  The 5^th one will be on April 21, 2014 in 13 degrees of Aries/Capricorn.   I can hardly wait!  Once again, as in May of 2013, this aspect is sandwiched between two eclipses. In May 2013, we had a solar eclipse on May 10^th in 19 degrees of Taurus, the 3^rd Uranus/Pluto square in 11 degrees of Capricorn/Aries on May 20^th, culminating in a lunar eclipse in 4 degrees of Sagittarius on May 25^th.  And we all know that lunar eclipses signify endings, while solar eclipses are the markers for new beginnings.  You can’t have a new beginning without an ending.   But how do you hang tight in the interim period and get a reprieve from the anxiety in between major life cycles?

This fall’s astrological sandwich is as follows: we had a lunar eclipse in 25 degrees of Aries on October 18^th, the Uranus/Pluto square is exact in 9 degrees of Aries/Capricorn on November 1^st and we have a solar eclipse in 11 degrees of Scorpio on November 3^rd.  The autumnal eclipses fall in the Mars-ruled signs of Aries and Scorpio, so be careful.  There can be an increased tendency towards being accident prone and for hidden feelings of anger and resentment to erupt.

The theme of the Uranus/Pluto square transit is to let go and allow change and greater awareness to occur.  We literally have to ride the wave and go with the flow of transformation.  A solar eclipse in Scorpio two days later only reinforces that theme.

The effect of this transit is playing out on both personal and global fronts, but anyone who has a planet, nodes of the moon, ascendant or midheaven at 8-15 degrees in any of the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) is literally having their world rocked.  The orientation of Uranus is to create but through a process of destruction and regeneration which is characteristic of Pluto.

Uranus in Aries has been transiting my 6^th house and Pluto in Capricorn has been transiting my 3^rd house.  I have definitely been feeling that Uranian energy in my 6^th house since the first hit on June 24, 2012.  The demands of my job increased and my health suffered: insomnia, digestive disorders, and headaches.  The second hit on September 18, 2012 intensified that theme and by the end of September I feared that I was experiencing another retinal tear after I started feeling pressure and seeing the dreaded floaters that had been symptoms of a retinal tear requiring surgery ten years ago.  It turned out to just be a broken blood vessel, but it was scary.  If the eyes are indeed the window to the soul, what did that say about the state of my soul?  Or more importantly, what was I seeing in the world that made me sick?

The third Uranus/Pluto square was exact on May 20, 2013 and once again the correlation between increasing job demands and my declining health were all too apparent.  I know there is an old saying “three strikes and you’re out”, and I was definitely contemplating out.  I guess I am living proof of the theory that it takes some folks the third pass of a transit to finally get the message.  I resigned from my job in August 2013 for reasons of declining health.  I have been healing and creating a new routine for myself, which is also a 6^th house issue, as I seek to establish a new career as an astrologer.  But after getting whacked by Uranus for the past couple of years, now it is Pluto’s turn to get in on the act of transformation.  Pluto is also conjuncting my north node in Capricorn in the 3^rd house, so communication is the key to my transformation.   And on October 28^th I received another gift from Uranus transiting my 6^th house—I discovered a mole on my back that I hadn’t previously noticed.  Naturally I freaked out with all of this anxiety-producing planetary energy.  I called a couple of dermatologists and managed to get an appointment for November 13^th.  At least Mercury will be officially direct by then.

Both Pluto and Uranus are in cardinal signs which like to initiate and motivate activity.  Aries is impatient and eager to express itself, while Capricorn seeks to motivate so that its goals are preserved.  Uranus in Aries seeks change, sometimes without seeing the big picture.  And Pluto in Capricorn can get downright despotic in terms of manipulating people to preserve its vision.  The recent crisis with the government shutdown is a perfect example of these two planets playing out their energies in a larger arena.

Pluto is in the Saturn-ruled sign of Capricorn.  Saturn rules structure and Uranus in Aries heralds a new cycle.  I can’t help but think back to the last time Uranus was in Aries, from 1927 to 1935.  There was a stock market crash, a great depression and the rise of dictators, most notably Hitler.  Is history repeating itself?  Hopefully we don’t have to experience a widespread depression and another world war, but I do believe that we need to be aware that some destruction will occur and a new order needs to be established.

Eileen Grimes has written a moving commentary on the current Uranus/Pluto transit that resonates deeply for me.  Indeed, nothing seems to make sense anymore and there are profound questions afoot regarding the meaning of life.

Catch it at: 

http://astrology.about.com/od/transitsandaspects/fl/Eileen-Grimes-Uranus-Pluto-Story.htm

I also loved what Elsa Panizzon said in her blog about the Uranus/Pluto square “Just get used to the idea of deep change that seems to occur in the blink of an eye.”

I find myself wondering when this transition period will end and how much many more waves I have to ride before I finally feel as though I have reached shore.